For the Love of Hate

Anybody who knows this king knows that he is annoyed by almost everything.

But, I recently took a quick trip to Orlando for a few days and I became reminded of some of the things that annoy me during the travelling process. Specifically, the types of travelers that really grind my (& your) gears.

1.) The Boarder

You’ve been sitting at the gate waiting for your flight for over an hour. You, like everyone else, are ready to board your flight and either get closer to your destination or actually arrive at your destination. Then, you hear it; the first boarding call. Which, of course, is for first class, business class, presidential class, vice-presidential class, senior class, upper class and every other class passengers first. Then usually, people needing assistance and people travelling with infants and small children. After that, it’s everyone else either by row or group. But, there are always those people that get up at the wrong time (every time) slowing the process for us because the gate agent always has to send them back. Like, what’s their deal? They’ve been assigned seat 498B. They’re NOT boarding any time soon. All you want them to do is relax and wait their turn like the rest of us.

2.) The Friendly One

You’ve finally boarded. Your seat-belt is on. You’re waiting for the safety briefing. All of sudden someone’s asking for your name. You turn to your side and realise it’s the person sitting on the side of you. Now, for the rest of the flight, you’re subjected questions being asked where you’re from, where you’re going, how you’re doing and how you feel about global warming. For added fun, you’re told why Obama is really the Anti-Christ, how the Australians (the Australians, really?) will be the cause of the next world war and only God knows what else. I’ve got my earphones in, bud. That means leave me alone. It is not the green light for tapping me on my shoulder while I’m pretending to be asleep so that you can speak to me.

3.) The Av-Geek

This is the uber-pretentious, smartier-than-thou passenger that knows a lot about planes and has to let everyone know that they know. Listen, dude, some of us (like me) know what type of aircraft we’re either going to be flying on or are on. And, some of us (like me) don’t care. We don’t care if it’s an Airbus or a Boeing. We don’t care if it’s an A320 or a 767. Really… We don’t care. We don’t want to know what year it came into service, how many are in service, how safe/unsafe they are or anything; I promise. We really just care about getting to where we’re going.

Seriously.

4.) The It’s Gonna Fit-er

Seat-belts are all buckled and everyone’s ready for taxiing… Except for Jane Doe and John Doe (no relation). They’re both still putting their carry-on pieces into the overhead bins, which is fine until you realise that their carry-on pieces are the sizes of adult Rottweiler dogs. These grossly over-sized bags somehow made it past both the check-in counter and the gate agent onto your flight. The flight attendant tries to offer assistance, but Jane is adamant that, “It’s gonna fit.” Meanwhile, a few rows back John’s gotten into a wrestling match of sorts with his overhead bin. Similarly, another flight attendant offers relief to his situation, but John insists, “It’s gonna fit”.

Spoiler alert: It didn’t fit.

5.) The Clappers

Honestly, these are my least favourite passengers.

Your flight has f i n a l l y  landed and despite all of the annoyances, it was actually a pretty smooth and enjoyable flight. Moments after the initial touchdown, the sound of applause starts emanating two rows ahead of you. Then it’s being echoed in the back of you and all of a sudden, your new BFF on the side of you is clapping and all you can think is, “Could you seriously not?”

So, here’s a little royal advice to you; don’t be any of those guys. We love to hate those guys. Those guys suck.